Alcoholics Anonymous - Motives in recovery

Motives
There are cases where our ancient enemy, rationalization,
has stepped in and has justified conduct which was really wrong.
The temptation here is to imagine that we had good motives and reasons
when we really didn't. . . .
We were depressed and complained we felt bad,
when in fact we were mainly asking for sympathy and attention.
This odd trait of mind and emotion, this perverse wish
to hide a bad motive underneath a good one,
permeates human affairs from top to bottom. . .
An honest regret for harms done, a genuine gratitude for blessings received,
and a willingness to try for better things tomorrow
will be the permanent assets we shall seek. 

May you work the program that allows you to straighten out your motives and life a life more rewarding than your wildest dreams.

 - Sober Living by the Sea Treatment Centers

Processing Change in the Recovery Process

"... Strange as this may seem
to those who do not understand -
once a psychic change has occurred,
the very same person who seemed doomed,
who had so many problems
he despaired of ever solving them,
suddenly finds himself easily able to control
his desire for alcohol,
the only effort necessary being that
required to follow a few simple rules." 

- Alcoholics Anonymous World Services

Brought to you by our Treatment Centers in California.

Honesty in Recovery from Bill W.

"Why all this insistence that every AA must hit bottom first? 
The answer is that few people will sincerely
try to practice the AA program unless they have hit bottom. 
For practicing AA's remaining eleven Steps means
the adoption of attitudes and actions
that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking
can dream of taking.
Who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant?
The average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme,
doesn't care for this prospect -
unless he has to do these things
in order to stay alive himself." - Bill W.

A Member of AA Shares the Value of Commitments in AA Recovery

Today's Tool:

So what exactly does Accepting Spiritual Help Look like? As I think back to the time of my surrender, not only did the words "I need help!" come out of my mouth but maybe more importantly I began to act like I needed help. For me, it was as follows:

Magically and by the grace of God, I said, "I need help!" While that in and of itself seems miraculous what followed in the form of my willingness to take action is what is really amazing and I believe the evidence that I was finally willing to "accept spiritual help!"

-In response to my plea for help, I heard....Go to AA, and I did that immediately (Sun 3:30pm in Metuchen, NJ)!

-Before going it was suggested that I tell them that I was new and ask for a Big Book...during introductions, I said, "I am Brian, I am an alcoholic and I am new"...meeting ended and I couldn't leave without stating, "I need a Big Book."

-Well, they were fresh out of Big Books but said, "there is a meeting later tonight at 7 pm in Rahway, they'll have a copy."

-went to Rahway Sunday Night Step Meeting and got a Big Book and was asked, "are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?" I said, "yes" (mostly because it seemed the most correct not because i was sure what that meant). Then, Gerry D. asked me, "Are you willing to go to any lengths to stay sober?" Again I said, "yes" (again, because it seemed most correct). Gerry said, "well then, sweep the god dam floor!" Off I went, Serenity Stick in hand, sweeping and wondering, "what the hell does this have to do with staying sober?" (I realized what it had to do with staying sober 6 months later when it was time to pass that job on to somebody else. That broom saved my life!)

-Go to 90/90, "yes, I'll do that!"

-Get a sponsor, "yes, I'll do that too!"

-Join a home group, "Rahway Sunday Night Step Meeting, will do!"

-Stand at the door and welcome people at every meeting you go to, "yes, I'll do that!"

-Get to meetings early and stay late, "I am willing!"

-Look for the New Guy and share what you have with him, "I'll give it my best!"

and on and on and on, etc...

The point is, "Take action!!!" And before you know it you will have the momentum of sobriety and you will find yourself in the Current of Life and taking action never gets old!!!

Tool for the day: say "YES!" to whatever suggestions you hear today...
(sorry that I'm a bit long winded)

 - Brian S

For links to Southern California AA Meetings, visit this page on Addiction-Programs.net.

For more AA community recovery visit our Facebook Page and our Twitter Page.

Also, see our Sober Living Community Blog for more thoughts.

The Spiritual Basis by Vince Jones

Vince Jones is a lecturer about Spirituality and the 12 Step Program at our treatment center. Vince always shares thoughts that make me question whether or not I am practicing a good solid program of recovery.

The Spiritual Basis

Are you strengthening your life of sobriety by living on the Spiritual Basis?

If you have to think about it or are unsure, then no, you are not. There are many things in life were we can be “lukewarm”, or "kinda in and kinda out." "Take it or leave it." This is not one of them.

Living on the Spiritual Basis requires us to:

1) Turning our will and life over to the care and direction of a Power Greater Than Themselves, God.


2) Have a clear understanding of what that Power is and isn‘t. Of course, this is a lifetime endeavor, but at minimum, God must be loving, intelligent and available, anything less, you are not Living on the Spiritual Basis, you are living on a secular basis.


3) We give all power to God, in every sense, convinced that every area of our existence is under His purview.

4) Turn to God in prayer, believing in our heart of hearts that prayer can accomplish anything.

5) Destroy any negative thoughts as they surface with prayer, for we now know that God wants us to be happy, joyous and free, our well-being of utmost importance to Him who has all power and knowledge.

6) Being clear on the teaching of “reaping and sowing.” That not only do our actions have consequences, our habitual thinking does as well, what we focus on, we bring into our lives.

7) Practice the Presence of God, to the best of our ability in Spirit, in everything, in everyone, all the time. Especially in those we disagree with or dislike. To be clear: Seeing God in everyone and everything does not mean that we do not hold strong opinions or point of views, but instead of engaging in negative or destructive talk or thinking we seek the higher ground of thought and living that Living on the Spiritual Basis offers.

8) Book end your day with meditation. Start your day in meditation asking to be shown the way of patience, tolerance, kindness and love, that your motives throughout day be devoid of selfishness and self-centeredness. End your day with a quiet meditation on that days events. Do not under any pretense engage in morbid reflection.

Like riding a bike, with practice, this way of life becomes second nature, its benefits evident. You can have your indignation, defend your right to have justified anger or you can comprehend the word serenity and know peace. The choice is always ours.

- Vince Jones

"Gone Fishin' with Eric V."

Eric V. is a staff member who has been using the activity of fishing to teach life lessons to the men and women who are in treatment at Sober Living by the Sea. Fishing with Eric is one of the many spiritual, physical and esteem building rehab activities offered by Sober Living by the Sea.

Every Sunday at 6:00 the boat leaves the harbor and the men and women who choose to go fishing with Eric get to experience a positive and spiritual activity that will help them learn how to "have fun in sobriety." The men and women also benefit from participating in the activity with other recovering people who are learning how to live life on life's terms.

As Eric says, "A lot of us know what it feel like to be awake this early in the morning - from drinking or using drugs. Now when I get to see the sunrise and I have this activity to enjoy it is very positive spiritual experience that I am grateful for every time."

Eric goes on to point out that he sees the activity is a metaphor for success in real life. "Being good at fishing requires a lot of common sense that is useful in other parts of life. For one thing, you have to be up early to catch the fish. Also, if you use dead or improper bait - then you will not get the results you desire. In order to attract the fish you want to catch, you must use nice lively bait that fish will want to eat." This lesson is akin to having the right approach in life no matter what the task you are trying to achieve.

Eric is enthusiastic when he describes how the feeling of catching a fish is a huge thrill that is a metaphor for achieving a goal in real life. The reality of fishing is that when you have a fish on the line, there are many factors that are out of your control that can prevent the fish from being caught. The fish could unhook itself, the line could break, another fisher's line can cross your line causing you to lose the fish as well. The most important things to remember when you are fishing are that you

• must be persistent


• must be patient


• must use the proper equipment to give yourself the best chance at success

When one of our clients finally reels a fish in and can hold it in the boat, that is a tangible and real feeling of success and completion. The client has experienced the process of :

1) setting a goal
2) working towards it properly with the help of others
3) achieving the goal

Not only is this a positive and empowering process, but it is all accomplished while sober and all in one morning!

Some people who arrive at Sober Living by the Sea Treatment Centers for treatment are already avid fishers, but most people are have little or no experience fishing and get to spend the morning peacefully learning how to do something new while sober. Some clients become very skilled fishers during their stay and continue the activity long after their treatment ends. Eric fondly remembers a client named Al S. who still fishes regularly to this day.

Eric has been kind enough to extend the offer to take our alumni fishing - whether or not they know how to fish from their time here or if it will be their first time. Alumni who want to participate can call our alumni hotline: 949-675-6107. We will tell you how to meet up with Eric bright and early on Sunday morning to go fishing!

Quitting Smoking at Same Time as Drugs and Alcohol is Recommended

In our last blog entry we discussed how cigarette smoking is common in the field of recovery < >.

Today we are going to discuss recent studies that show that abstaining from all mood altering chemicals (including tobacco and other cigarette by products) actually increases the likelihood of a recovering alcoholic or addict maintaining sobriety for the long term.

Nicotine is a Powerful Drug and Powerfully Addictive

Nicotine is a powerfully mood altering substance. It is also cheap and easily available. Nicotine costs about 2 cents per "hit." It is very potent and has been masterfully packaged and marketed by "big tobacco." It is even fashionable in some circles to smoke cigarettes (although less so over time).

The Nicotine Treatment Myth

It is believed by many (myself included) that smoking is a "crutch" with which a recovering alcoholic or drug addict will be able to rely on to manage stress in early sobriety. It is very common at the A.A. clubs around the world to have caffeine drinks handy and ashtrays for the recovering people. This myth leads to the assumption that quitting smoking at the same time as alcohol (or drugs) will lead to higher relapse rates

The Fact of Quitting Both Nicotine and Alcohol (or Drugs) at the Same Time

Almost everyone who is addicted to cigarettes wants to quit smoking. Studies have shown that relapse rates are higher for recovering addicts (and alcoholics) who
continue to smoke in sobriety than it is for those who don't smoke.

Quitting Smoking Requires a Treatment Program

It is critical for the treatment industry to address this deadly habit and start to provide the opportunity for newly recovering people to free themselves from the cigarette habit in addition to the substance they are in a rehab program for.

Cigarette cessation is important enough to justify creating a special recovery program of its own. Cigarette Smoking kills more people than alcohol, cocaine, heroin,homicide, suicide, care accidents, fire, and AIDS - COMBINED. Approximately 25 million citizens of the US who are alive today will most likelydie of a smoking related disease.

People in recovery who are attempting to quit smoking should also be given a program for the smoking cessation that integrates the smoking abstinence into the planning for:

• counseling


• support meetings


• journaling


• medication (there are products like Zyban and Chantix which can aid newly quit smokers)


• Nicotine replacement supplement (the patch and the gum)
  

There are special support groups for smokers who want to quit like nicotine anonymous ; contact your local hospital for more information.

The Benefit of Simultaneously Quitting Smoking and Drugs/Alcohol

The benefits of quitting both smoking tobacco and drugs/alcohol are that the person in recovery will feel better physically so much sooner, and the entire person will be healing in mind body and spirit. By clinging to another addictive substance (ie tobacco) during recovery, the recovering man or woman mentally, physically, and spiritually knows that they are still substituting one addiction for another. If they are able to quit all addictions at once, they will more easily have the spiritually rewarding experience of finding a healthy and fulfilling relationship with a higher power allowing them to abstain from smoking cigarettes. In this way the "life style" change is complete and the former cigarette addict will have so much more momentum in recovery, have so much more to lose in the event of a relapse, and therefore will remain more likely to maintain their sobriety.